Escape to “Billy Smarts” 

Well Marsh had been in rehab now for three days and he was crawling up the walls, no ALCOHOL at all and none of the the staff were paying any attention to his pleas and begging. Even the promise of untold riches didn’t alter the staffs attitude. Marsh realised his only chance was escape but how ?. As Marsh was a fee paying patient (Melody was paying) he could come and go within the grounds of the centre as he liked until lock down at 7pm.

Marsh had scouted out all the perimeter of the centre and all the walls were far too high and well lit past dusk, so another plan needed to be hatched. Marsh had recently watched “some like it hot” and realised a disguise was the way forward. So using his best clouseau detective mind he set about the task, unfortunately for Marsh the only store cupboard he could find open was the nurses uniform cupboard(female), fortunately Marsh had never been described as stocky or well built and soon he found a uniform that would fit. This he bundled inside his cardigan and scurried back to his room. If you had the chance to see him you would have only described him as a pregnant George Clooney (his likeness claim not mine) with arthritic hips dashing along a well lit corridor. Next make up he thought , well there was an old soak 3 rooms down that never locked her door and was always made up to the nines, Marsh was sure someone came in every day to do her makeup as it was always perfect and her hands shook uncontrollably.

Marshs next sauté was to the soaks room and soon he was scurrying back to his rook laden with estee lauder and Chanel makeup. Now according to Marsh he had never worn makeup but everyone had seen his Adam & the Ants/new romantic pictures where he was made up like a pantomime dame. There was no time to worry so Marsh sat himself in front of the mirror and started 1st poking himself in the eye with the pencil liner, 2nd foundation too much and spending the next 2 hours sneezing, 3rd lipstick which had him more looking like the joker than a woman, and last blusher which was applied in the same thickness as the double yellow lines on the road.

 

This was it now or never Marsh hitched up his skirt and made for the door, people were leaving and the door was open as he approached when just 10mtrs away Marsh made a mad sprint knocking people sideways as he sped towards the door , made it and off down the path he sprinted. (What he didn’t know was he was being released this same day anyway) the staff just watched as this deranged he/she nurse careered down the drive and straight into the nearest pub. 10 minutes later and 3 pints Marsh now had to make good his escape. Noticing there was a large event down the road Marsh scuttled down and took a look. A circus what luck he exclaimed, Marsh thought he could hide out there for a few hours until the search party had given up (there never was or would be a search party).

Marsh entered the big top through the back door and the instant he entered the head clown Mrs Spare Part cornered him “your late you know tonight routine” get ready. Marsh taken aback stuttered and mumbled but head clown Spare Parrt barked the orders at his and Marsh sloped off to join the other clowns. fortunately for Marsh he was to play the DRUNK so as he had consumed 3 pints he performance should be convincing. 10 Minutes later with a foot squarely in his back Marsh was launched into the ring followed by 5 other clowns all armed with custard pies all destined for Marsh.

The performance was soon over and Spare Part came over and congratulated Marsh on his realistic performance ” you will be staying for the tour ?” Marsh still convinced that there would be search parties out for him agreed without hesitation. “Great ” said Spare Part you caravan is over there. Marsh slumped back on the sofa in his van via a call at the bar,arms laden with booze and self congratulated himself, “who would have believed it me a clown” Now everyone who know Marsh thought of him as a clown but maybe this was his true vocation in life. 

A life on the stage and being told what to do by a woman Marsh was in heaven. He put his feet up and cracked open another can, Marsh began singing “Hi Diddly Dee A Circus Life For ME” and a tour wait till Rocksey & Penguino find out this will blow them away, Clown this week Circus Master within a month Marsh assured himself …… we will see we will see ! ! ! ! ! 

Surprise Vegan Ice cream 

Its so hot, the Winds are blowing in from Africa and the southern part of Spain is stifled with a heatwave making everything such an effort. Even the couple of days at the Miramar sapped my energy to a point where even turning over on the sun lounger wasn’t an option. Thus with a sun burnt back I wait for Rocksey at the airport and hoping that Max and his crew of Zombies have left the finca and we can return home for some quality time together before the arrival of SP and Suki on Friday evening.

Rockseys flight has blown in on those very same African winds and his flight is on time. As he has only been away for a few days he careers through passport control with his cabin bag pulls me into a big Rocksey bear hug kissing the top of my head. Misse you babe he murmurs but come on things to do! And off we go squeezed into the Fiat 500 I hired up into the hills to see what fates await us.

Next doors dogs greet us with a rally of barks and I noticed that their dog which likes to spin round and round (hencely named ‘spinny dog’ ) spins dutifully round whilst barking excitedly as the unfamilar car passes their gates. There are no signs of zombies or Max and Lizbet when we pull up on the driveway. The deflated unicorn stares forlornly at us from the side of the pool  –  I still don’t know who this belongs to -I’m hoping that there are no other surprises left for us.

The house has been cleaned from top to toe, Marcella has done wonders, who would have known what trails of destruction she had to clear up. I can see her know, shaking her head and cursing everyone in Spanish under her breath. I think Rocksey is a little bit scared of her as she looks a bit like the old woman in that film ‘Dragged to Hell’  and I’m certain he thinks that one of these days………

In the kitchen stands a vase filled with flowers, lilies and roses in full bloom filling the kitchen with their sweet aroma. A note is pressed up against the vase.Welcome Home it says, sorry for the inconvenience of us stil being here when you arrived , hope these more than make up for it – if not there is something in the freezer which might, love M&L. PS thanks for the loan of the Unicorn, don’t know what we would have done without it!  can’t have a video called Revenge of the Killer Unicorn without one !!

In the freezer is a box labelled Vegan Ice cream. I get it out and open it, creamy  and delicious it tastes of both Mango and Coconut and I think I am in love. The icecream box and myself are barely separated through out the day. I sit by the pool idly watching Rocksey alternating between blowing up the Unicorn ( which sadly must be punctured somewhere as it does keep deflating) and strumming chords on  his guitar immersed in a new song. Around about 7 he goes indoors brings out some Cervesas de Clara ( this is beer flavoured with lemon juice and delightful) and announces he is going to make dinner later  with one of the recipes he has brought back from Rob. In the meantime here is Max and Lizbet vegan Mango &coconut icecream recipe to fall in love with…………………………the mystery of the arrival of the Unicorn can wait for another day.

Vegan Mango Coconut Ice Cream

1 can (14 ounces) unsweetened coconut milk (do not use light or cream of coconut)

1/2 cup organic evaporated cane sugar

1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk (homemade or purchased)

1 1/2 cups chopped ripe mango

1 tablespoon orange liqueur such as Grand Mariner or Cointreau

1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla
Combine coconut milk, sugar, almond milk and mango in blender container. Cover and blend until smooth. Add orange liqueur and vanilla; blend to combine. Cover and refrigerate coconut mixture at least 4 hours until well chilled. Freeze in an ice cream maker according to manufacturer’s directions. Makes about 1 quart (4 cups)
Tip: Homemade ice cream freezes very firm. Adding the orange liquor makes a slightly softer ice cream since alcohol does not freeze.

A Zombie Apocalypse.

So I arrive at our Finca late afternoon on Sunday to find a trail of destruction and no one around. There are empty bottles strewn around the pool area and empty cans of beer in the guest apartment. It looks like there has been one hell of a mega party and all revellers have left the building. I know only one thing, Marsh has gone to re-hab and SP has flown out to LA. Rocksey should have been here to greet me and so ….where on earth is he????

I wander around looking at Armageddon until in the kitchen I see a note propped up against a half empty bottle of champagne. Sorry it reads, I know you’ll probably file for divorce but gone to Connecticut for a few days to improve my Vegan cooking- be back Tuesday . PS Gave Marcella the weekend off but she will be in with the team on Monday – I have booked you a suite at that nice hotel you like in Malaga until Tuesday – enjoy xxxx

Tuesday?? Inwardly I fume – its Sunday – the place is a tip – but hang on I read the PS and smile – Rocksey may be a complete C*** BUT The Gran Hotel Miramar is a beautiful place where the Frozen Gin cocktails are to die for and there is a Hammam and I really could do with the de-stressing…..

However, I love our finca and I was a bit pissed off that Rocksey had left it in such a mess knowing that I was about to arrive and it had been over a week since we had seen each other so what was he doing that was so important in Connecticut anyway?

I open the fridge and salvage a bottle of Sancerre which Marsh must have missed, pouring myself a glass I go into mine and Rockseys bedroom  which is as tidy as I would expect with Rockseys OCD, everything is in its place and when I open the wardrobe all my favourite summer dresses have been hung up ready to wear  along with a few others that I haven’t seen before (there is a local gypsey  market and there is one lady there who sells her own creations. – I love her dresses and Rocksey has obviously been to see her as the new dresses hanging up are to die for).  Sipping the ice cold wine I wander through the French doors to our own private patio area where we have a plunge pool. Rocksey had obviously not let Marsh loose here as it looks undisturbed apart from a Birmingham University T Shirt flung carelessly over a pool chair which I recognise as one of his. I pick it up absentmindedly and walk past the pool up the steps to the garden  which again remains thankfully untouched by the weeks chaotic goings on. 

The neighbours dogs start to bark which makes me jump suddenly and catch my breath but the air is still and no one is around. I wander back out to the pool area where a deflated blow up unicorn buts itself against the side of the pool in the breeze, a pair of swimming shorts lay on one of the pool loungers, one of the others is overturned. What appears to be a mess of plastic axes, sickles and other Halloween paraphernalia has been dumped by the pump house. I turn back to stare at the unicorn- I have never seen this before and half wonder where on earth it has come from. My mobile vibrates suddenly in my shorts pocket and makes me jump, I hate to admit it but the stillness of the finca and the crazy state of it is making me feel really nervous.

I pull out my phone cheered to see Rockseys face light up. I answer sternly so he knows that I am not happy with him but trying to be cross with Rocksey is like trying to make a Labrador puppy stop jumping over you and licking your face. Hey babe Rocksey yells listen I know your at Casa Esperanza and I know it all looks a bit wierd but DON”T TOUCH ANYTHING’. Oh my God I start to say, what’s happened? Is everyone ok? “HE’S MAKING A VIDEO…A HORROR FILM….AT OURS….’ Rocksey yells oblivious ITS A WORK IN PROGRESS. Whose making a video and why? I start to say but the line has gone dead. This makes me feel even more disconcerted as there is no one about – am I staring in Candid Camera and if so was some horrible clown or wierd creature come crawling out of the TV at me? 

I decide to leave even though I feel like I’m being chased out of my own house by an unknown film crew particularly a film crew that are not actually on set  but have left everything as if they re just about to return and why was I not consulted on this video? It is after all my property as well!!

At this point I hear a car coming up the drive which is probably why the dogs had started to bark and my gut instinct tells me to run and hide under the upturned sun lounger  with one of the plastic axes I had clocked earlier. However, I’m made of sterner stuff than this and turn to face the owner of the car who has just jumped out and come face to face with BLOODY MAX MILLIONAIRE and his billionaire wife Lizbet.  KITTEN he folds me up into his arms in a bear hug. Did you get our message? Well obviously not I say waving my arms at the pool. –  Rocksey just phoned me but……. what are you doing here? Have you come to stay……? No it actually turns out that its Max doing the video for his latest Nazi Zombie comic book which Lizbet is hoping to turn into a ‘made for TV’ zombie series and a trailer needed to be filmed ASAP. Rocksey knowing full well that due to Marshes bad behaviour over the last week and SP’s inability to clean up after himself, the villa would be a total mess which is what Max had specifically asked for  and as he too was disappearing for a few days himself, Max and Lizbet had pretty much had the place to themselves ( plus a few ‘zombies’ that they had brought with them who. – after a day of filming were now ensconced in our local taverna).  They had hoped to be finished and cleared up by now but filming had over run which is why I was booked in to the Miramar and Marcella was coming tomorrow to tidy up. 

Now that the mystery has been solved ( I feel like one of the characters in Melodies ‘who dunnits’, I am relived and as happy as I would be to stay on ( and maybe even star in the video) I decide the lure of Frozen Gin cocktails and a suite overlooking the azure waters of the Mediterranean in the 40C heat is far greater than being covered in fake blood and having to deal with a Zombie apocalypse with a PoundLand axe. I leave waving happily to Max and Lizbet ( and the raggedy bunch of Zombies that have returned from their late lunch) and head for the coast calling up Rocksey on the way to find out how his own Vegan Zombie feasting is going…………..

Vegan Zombie 

Well Rocksey had been at Robs now for 3 days and was getting used to the vegan life and thought that it was time to repay their generosity and cook something for Rob and Sherri.

ROcksey had been following “cookthebeans.blog” a vegan cook for weeks now and decided to cook them a beetroot and red quinoa burger . After only 20 minutes prep Rocksey was ready to cook.

Now cooking isn’t anything new to rocksey but this time his hands were visibly shaking. Nervous was an understatement “here we go he thought ”

The oven was pre hearted and the burgers made, rocksey had made his own mixed salad with a lemon vinegarette dressing.

The burgers were fried for approx 2 minutes a side and all was ready.

40minutes later Zombie stood up and slapped Rocksey on his back “Welcome to the family welcome to the family” that was truly delicious. Even if you had tried I don’t think you could have wiped the smile off Rockseys face.

Rocksey was on the phone to kitten as soon as he returned to his room “they loved it “”dinner”  and even I thought it was great.

I have posted the RECIPE BELOW 

Please check out “COOKTHEBEANS.BLOG” FOR MORE STUNNING VEGAN FOOD RECIPE’S – SHE’S FANTASTIC 

This Vegan Burger is probably one of my favourites, hope you like it to.

 • 2 cups of peeled, roasted, chopped beets

 • 1 cup cooked red quinoa (white is just as fine)

 • 2 tbsp olive oil

 • 3 tbsp ground flaxseeds, soaked in 9 tbsp water

 • 1 onion, finely diced

 • 4 garlic cloves, crushed

 • 1/2 cup of chickpeas or rice or oats

 • 2 tbsp lemon juice

 • 2 tbsp soy sauce

 • salt and pepper to taste

 • coriander to taste

 • cumin to taste

 • 1/2 cup finely chopped mushrooms (shitake, baby bella or white button) optional 
Preheat the oven to 200ºC.

Place the chopped beets, the garlic, the onion and the mushrooms rubbed with olive oil, on a parchment paper and let it roast for 20-30 minutes. Remove from the oven and set aside to cool.

 

In a food processor add all the ingredients, including seasonings. Pulse until combined, without making it to mushy.

With wet or oily hands form the mixture into burgers (they are sticky) and refrigerate  them for about 2 hours at least. If you have the time, leave them overnight.

In a pan over medium heat, heat 1 tbsp of olive oil, and add the burgers, cooking them for about 2-4 minutes on each side, until crispy and cooked through.

New Album (week1 recordings)part 2

Well today was Marshs last chance in the studio. He had been told to be there for 11Am but as usual he was late, but this time it wasn’t Rocksey who was waiting for Marsh it was Senor Penguino ! ! ! ! . Penguino could be tolerant and forgiving but Marshs escapades this week had erased all forgiveness from Penguinos mind. Penguino was sat in the studio lights on in the recording booth and only one spotlight on the recording desk in the studio. He twirled a pencil in his fingers awaiting Marsh, muttering to himself “I knew this was a bad idea”


Finally 45 minutes late the door burst open and in fell Marsh, “you’ve been drinking again” Penguinos voice coming out of all the monitors in this studio “NO” was Marshs response…  Right then lets do take 1 “92 in the shade” you’re ready “yes” was the response. It wasn’t long before they were on take 18 Marsh was fumbling and missing beats left right and centre (strange as he can play the piano) Penguino was now shouting at Marsh like a drill sergeant major. To which Marsh was impervious, he thought things were going great and that they had completed 4 songs already.

Ten Minute break Penguino announced, he got out of his chair and left the studio. Marsh saw the door open and close and immediately opened the music bag he had brought in with him. Now sitting in the corner of the studio Marsh opened his first can of lager and a bottle of white wine, gulping from both one after another Marsh could feel the cool liquid settling his nerves, unfortunately Marsh isn’t a person who know when to stop and unfortunately Penguinos 10 minutes were actually 35. By the time Penguino returned to the studio Marsh had drank 3 bottles of wine 5 cans of lager and 1/4 bottle of gin.! !  ! ! And to anyone looking it seemed all the bones from Marshs body had been removed as he now resemble Mr Wobble.

Penguino found Marsh curled up behind the drum kit phone in hand calling home the line was connected but just the answerphone bleeps could be heard (Melody was still in the US “Thats it” Penguino shouted his words even managed to echo in the sound deadened room, and summoning help loaded Marsh into a car with his teeny tiny suitcase and passport and drive him to the airport. On the 3 hour drive to the airport  Penguino had managed to book a flight , load the app on Marshes phone and download the boarding card.


Penguino knew Marsh wouldn’t look so wrote the flight number on Marshes hand and arranged for someone to get him to the boarding gate and on the plane. By the time they had reached the airport Marsh had come round Penguino said “all recorded” Marsh smiled self congratulating himself  for a job well done. Marsh boarded the flight without even looking at the destination helped by the assistance Penguino organised (Penguino didn’t want Marsh missing the plane) and sat back in his chair and relaxed knowing soon he could endulge in his favourite Gin & Tonics.

Penguino was on the phone to Rocksey ” he’s gone and on a plane we got nothing complete he’d been on the booze again” Rocksey replied “ok ok you were correct” i’ll see you in 6 days when I get back from the States. SP was off to meet  a hero of his John5 in LA and hopefully to wow him with his guitar handiwork – Rocksey had also wanted to go on this trip but as Kitten was due at the villa any time now he felt he couldn’t just up and leave especially with the chaos that Marsh had left behind – Rocksey most definitely didn’t want Kitten to think he had been on the beer all week!!


Marshs flight touched down on a dull drizzly night and he trudged towards passport control, straight through and to the awaiting drivers, There was his name on the board and he dutifully followed the driver. Marsh didn’t pay any attention to where they were going until they pulled up and Marsh read the sign, his worst nightmare had come true he’d been booked into rehab. The car door opened and two male orderlys escorted Marsh into the centre and to his room. Marsh head in hands it had come to this as he reached into his travel bag and pulled out a 6 pack of lager sipping from the 1st can he wondered how much it would cost to bribe the orderly to keep him supplied……..

Simple Pleasures 

Waving  Rocksey off last Friday I started my week alone with the best intentions. I would get up earlier, work out properly, eat healthily, visit my parents, weed the garden, keep on top of the housework etc etc and then be on tip top form for when I flew out the following weekend ready for my much deserved break in the Spanish sunshine.

Well you know what they say about best laid plans…… With the country in the grips of a Heatwave  -this is a loose term , in actuality it means 5  continuous days of blistering heat ( the papers proudly proclaim that this has been  the hottest and longest spell of 32C heat since ( would you believe it) 1976)-  it is England btw – we don’t have much in the way of Summer here and definitely not over 5 consecutive days!  It was too hot to work out, too hot to do any productive or meaningful work as the office basically became a place to position yourself in front of a fan and hope that someone would bring in ice lollies to relived the relentless heat, whilst evenings were spent sitting in the garden with one or two glasses of cold white wine with the cat whiling away the hours talking to Rocksey and listening to what the three musketeers were getting up to (I have allowed him to guest blog on here – you probably can tell the difference in the style of writing and the content – I don’t think I could find enough interesting things to write about Marsh and  his degenerative downward spiral into what seems to be alcoholism).   So apart from actually visiting my parents for a couple of hours on Thursday, the remainder of my ‘to do’ list has not been ticked off.

So what on earth will I write about in this blog? Well spending 7 days ( and nights) alone with no one to worry about can either drive you mad so you fill up the time ( hence the ‘to do’ list) or you slow right down and take advantage of this ‘me’ time. So what did I actually do?

1. Friday evening, Missy and The Baron arrive, we get a taxi into town with the intention to paint the town red – we go for a Curry and a beer, the bars are rammed, we get a taxi home and sit in the garden until 1am. .

2.  Three hours on Saturday morning I spend peering through the viewfinder of my camera taking macro photographs of dragon flies as they performed their mating rituals above the pond  ( when Rocksey is here he can’t sit still, my photography bores him to tears ) with him out of the way I could. –  and did- take about 300 photos  and did not get bored!;

3. Saturday afternoon was  spent ( mostly) at the outdoor shopping mall where Missy amassed a rather huge amount of Sunglasses from Primark for less than £3 a pair. From a distance you would not be able to tell the difference between Primarni specials and the latest from Prada ( although I doubt your eyes would thank you if you were going to actually wear them as eye protection from the sun!)

4.  Saturday night was spent curled up on the sofa with said children, pizza ( this was a homemade vegan offering though) and a box of Malteasers  watching an omnibus of Love Island ( Rocksey would just NOT watch this programme, I tried to resist I really did but somehow……)

 5. Sunday afternoon was spent lying on a hammock listening to the music of my Youth, marvelling at the beauty of the June garden and not worrying about the weeds poking up through the flagstones on the patio;

6.  Mon-Thursday day time. –  spent days at work drinking copious amounts of cold brew green tea and water ( healthy living. – tick) and ice lollies ( they were fruit flavoured – healthy living. –  tick), girls in the office go mad for my new Valentino studded gladiator sandals , lunch time dash to Primarni and said girls in the office all wearing £8 copies evenings – as aforementioned, sat on the patio with cat and white wine until the house cooled down sufficiently to ( coughs) watch Love Island.

7. Friday AM –  spent the morning frantically packing and re-packing teeny tiny suitcase listening to the rain hammering on the windows ( British summer over) and trying desperately to recall what to wear in 37C heat ( as little as possible and Factor 50 ), Mrs Rocksey arrives to take over Rocksey Towers whilst we are away and Suki chauffeurs me to the airport in her new Aston Martin. We discuss Love Island!

8. All the bits in between, catching up with Melody and Suki with long phone calls ( transatlantic for Melody as she was still in the US ) and ( clears throat) watching  and discussing Love Island ( I am informed by the girls in the office that there is an App….An APP!!!!  – resistance is futile – I’m on the App Store as we speak  – Send a WhatsApp  message to Missy to see if she is aware of this –  she is, she has it and is browsing whilst we speak). 

Now: got through customs at airport and spent leisurely hour in the Duty Free buying perfume, proper sunglasses ( sorry Missy, your best efforts to encourage me to wear 5 dollar sunglasses were never going to work), had make up done at the Smashbox counter ( pure bliss) and nails painted at the OPI bar (sunset strip  – you minx!!) drank a Starbucks Cold Brew Vanilla Bean to use the WIFi to catch up on Instagram and now a large G&T before getting on the flight to be met by Rocksey (sans Marsh and SP) and 4 weeks of well more simple pleasures, getting up late, eating fresh fish, speaking Spanish, lounging by the pool, swimming in the sea etc etc….. the best thing though…..Love Island is being Sky +’d and the week I get back (when Rocksey is still away) I can binge watch without guilt……ahhhh….. simple pleasures!!! ( shhh don’t tell).

New album (week 1 recordings) part 1 

Well the first week of recordings went better Than could have been expected, with the sunshine, beer, beach close at hand. Rocksey had put the guide vocals down, and as per usual these had no resemblance to what the final takes would be. Rocksey as per normal put no effort or feelings into them and as per usual stated they wont be used and NO ONE will ever hear them. Penguino had spent the rest of the week putting down guitar and bass tracks and ignoring Marshs request to allow him to put one bass track down. Penguino being rather kind I thought told Marsh ” I would sooner let a squashed Baboon put a bass track than let you loose on one of the tracks” this just seemed to bounce off Marsh as he told Rocksey, Penguino was thinking about letting him loose.

Drums down, bass guitar down , lead and rhythm done just the solos to complete. And a Banjo track that Penguino wanted to put on 92 In The Shade. Marsh could be seen skuttling about a bit like a Orc in the darkened corners of the building, drinking from a bottle of red wine and carrying his tambourine (Rockseys tambourine really) waiting for his turn. Marshs first attemp ended in a utter disaster as he couldnt keep time even with the simplest beat. Penguino had stormed out after 3 hours of listening to Marshs attempts. Rocksey gave up a couple of hours later and left marsh trying to keep time with no one listening or recording just the one light left switched on in the mixing room keeping Marsh company.

Well 5 days had passed since Marshs last attempt and he was under strict orders “NO DRINKING” nothing alcoholic from dawn until he was finished in the studio. Penguino told Rocksey you have no chance he’ll be drunk before 10AM and he don’t get up till 9AM. One last chance that’s it “I told him he could appear on the album”  – (Marsh has been in many bands but never had a real release) “Your wasting valuable time Penguino shouted “I could bring my pet lizard and we would get things done quicker” “one last chance Rocksey shouted back”

Rocksey sent out the word Marsh was required, the time now was 11AM Marsh hadn’t been seen all morning, then just like the shop keeper in Mr Ben, He appeared ! ! ! ! ! 


BEER IN HAND and a idiots grin spread across his sunburnt face. “What did I tell you No BEER”, I’m ok Marsh replied his words sliding out of the corner of his mouth dribbling down his chin and bouncing off the empty wine bottles in his pockets. “Get out ” Rocksey shouted if Penguino see you you’ll be out of the house and sent back to the UK. Marsh disappeared post haste the sound of bottles and cans echoing as he sped down the hall. Rocksey thought it sounded like santas sleigh and had a wry smile. Picking up the tambourine Rocksey said to the engineer “lets get through the first 4 tracks and NOT a word to Penguino ”

Rocksey had the tracks done in 2 hours and went hunting the elusive (orc) Marsh ! ! ! !

Marsh where are you, marsh had taken refuge in his favourite wardrobe surrounded by his favourite wines and was chatting away to them like they were all listening “there hunting us my precious, I won’t let them take you” the sound of Rockseys calls soon faded and Marsh curled up with his new friends and drifted off dreaming of a land where rivers were wine, seas were beer and all food tasted of burgers…. TO BE CONTINUED