The Visit

So this weekend my best friend from forever ago texts out of the blue…I’m here on a visit are you in?

Nothing special in this except she and her family emigrated to Canada 4 years ago and apart from the odd FaceBook message and sharing of photos we have not really spoken in a long time. There must be big news I say to Rocksey.

So Sandra arrives, all blonde bouffant hair and blue eyeliner in a mad Princess Di sort of way in tight white clam diggers with the brightest most fluorescent, neon pink matching toe nails and finger nails and lipstick.

‘Kitten’ she exclaims air kissing me in a breathless way -possibly something to do with the chain smoking. ‘Rocksey’ she exclaims making the breathiness lower and sexier, smearing lipstick on his cheek leaving him with a neon pink streak where he had quickly turned to avoid the pink kiss on his lips.

Is it time for a drink? she asks as if she had no idea of the time. Rocksey does the honours, pours out too large glasses of Rosé from the fridge and disappears.

Is The Baron around? Sandra looks around for signs of my son. No he’s gone to a festival with Dreads this weekend I say -why is it him you’ve come to see?

Oh No says Sandra lighting a ciggie and puffing smoke towards the tropical fish tank ( poor buggers I think), lets just say it’s probably better he’s not here.

Now I am intrigued and we quickly rattle through the mundane ordinary stuff, hows life, hows your parents, etc etc. Sandra is her on a flying visit for a few days on a mission which, I think, she is about to divulge.

so, I say, hows Canada, hows the kids? Ahh, now this is what we are going to talk about, I think as Sandra’s expression changes. Prior to moving to Canada with her husbands work, the kids were aged 12 and 8. Ned who is now 16 was a Grade A student at 12, into his football, swimming, Boy Scouts etc…..however, Ned rebelled when relocated to Toronto and it all went down hill from there.

Stemming from the odd misdemeanour smoking a spliff now and again and swigs of vodka, it transpires that 6 months ago, Ned decides to go from participant to supplier, and went off to school with a large amount of weed packaged up under his school uniform and was caught on camera selling it from the boys locker room. Up on a trafficking charge, Sandra was given the name of an ex pat lawyer who came with some cast iron recommendations.

Now don’t get me wrong, The Baron has given me sleepless nights in the past and didn’t get his nickname from The Wacky Races but a federal offence? Now thats some rebellion!

Alls well that ends well though. The ex pat lawyer pleads a private meeting with the Judge and who knows what happened but Ned gets off with a slap on the wrist and Sandra has to forgo a new car to pay the lawyer. Ned is now cooling his heels at his grandparents house before he is shipped off to finish his school days at Hogworts or somewhere….not in Canada anyway.

Later The Baron sends a text, buying a bus it says, going to be a New Age traveller, see you in a few months time.

I text back…..pick up Ned on your way past but drop him off at Hogworts for the start of the new term.


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