Senor Pinguino is learning to speak Spanish. Well SP has been learning Spanish for many years now and I use the term ‘learning’ loosely.
Rocksey speaks Spanish well and this stands us in good stead when we stay at our villa. I speak enough to get by and our shared love of Spain and all things Spanish serves us both well as when Rocksey is tired of being a Rockstar we are hoping to move to Spain on a more or less permanent basis.
SP and his long term girlfriend Suki are the ultimate Rock Star Couple. Like Mick & Bianca, SP and Suki exude rock star cool from every pore. SP has it all, mullet hair, tattoos, eyeliner, jewellery piled high, fringed jackets, tight jeans and crocodile boots. Suki is all big blonde hair, red lip stick and leather everything. They looked fantastic back in the ’90s – they look fantastic now in a Ronnie and Jo Wood kinda way.
Anyway back to the Spanish. SP is self taught and thinks his Spanish is actually better than it is. SPs best line is ‘Mi pinguino no come arroz’ which translates as ‘my penguin does not eat rice’, hence the nickname Senor Pinguino.
SP uses this one line for every situation, in Spain or Italy or France or any country he happens to be in. Theres something about SP and his one line of Spanish which just makes you laugh out loud and theres usually no response that anyone can give to SP when he comes out with his sentence.
So, anyway, the band have decided that there is a great need to tour South America next year. Everyones doing it says Rocksey We can’t miss out, we have to get some gigs. We’ll get on to Mick and Barry – they live in Brazil, they should be able to get something sorted out.
Yes but I will call our promotor Carlos in Mexico says SP- we can meet up in Cancun and decide where to play.
Carlos answers the call immediately. In a torrent of Spanglish he is excited about a tour and how he will only need a few days to get some venues sorted. In the meantime perhaps you may want to call Catrina he says to SP -she is in love with your look -she will have some new ideas for you.She doesn’t speak much English tho, but i know you can speak Spanish so everything will be ok.
SP loves the ladies, he thinks he’s so smooth – do you want me to call her -asks Rocksey. Of course not I speak better Spanish says SP and anyway carlos says she’s in love with me NOT you!
Buenos Tardes – she purrs down the phone. SP moves into the study away from earshot of Suki who, like any bird of prey will bring down SP at the slightest hint of a flirtation – even one conducted in Spanish to a lady several 1000 miles away!
Buenos Tardes – SP responds ‘hablo inglese Catrina?’ Even SP kows that ‘Mi penguino no come arroz’ won’t cut it with Catrina. Obviously there is a few halted sentences from Mexico and then as clear as a bell we hear ‘Lets speak Spanish for a few minutes’.
The look on SP’s face is priceless, Catrina is obviously chatting away happily in her native tongue, punctuated every now and again with SP nodding enthusiastically ‘si, si, mucho bueno Cara , si , si , bravo, adios’
The line goes dead. We look expectantly at SP.
Well – Rocksey arches his eyebrows – what she say……
Mi penguino no come arroz – SP picks his hat up and feigns innocence – what?
We are no wiser than prior to the conversation with Catrina. SP says nothing else but leaves with a hint of a smile on his face arm in arm with Suki. Something tells me he knows more Spanish than he lets on – time will tell.