Well Marsh had been fretting about visiting his mothers small seaside home, ever since she informed him she was moving to live in Florida for the rest of her years, as England had got far to cold for her. Marsh suspected it was really to do with tax purposes.
Marsh had convinced Rocksey it would be a great idea for them both to go and visit his former family home by the sea. Now Marsh had told Rocksey for years about how run down the place was and of its former glory when marsh used to live there and run the estate, Stating how his mother didn’t really have an interest in the grounds or building. All she wanted to do according to marsh was jet around the world following the summer.
Now Rocksey has been in a car driven by Marsh before and he had sworn NEVER to be in the same car as Marsh whilst marsh was driving. But Marsh had just had his new car delivered and Rocksey wasnt one to turn down a ride in what Marsh called his runaround car which turned pout to be a top of the range Aston martin. Belive it or not both Marsh & Rocksey saw themselves as James Bond and would often while away the days telling each other how they’d make a better Bond than Daniel Craig.
So on this fine sunny morning Marsh and Rocksey set off on the three-hour drive to Marshes family home. Less that 5 minutes into the journey Rocksey had his head in his hands as Marsh yelled out of the window at cars that wouldn’t get out of his way. The fact that they were stationary at traffic lights didnt phase Marsh, as per normal he’d let the world know he was in a rush. Rocksey pointed out they were not in any rush as nobody was expecting them which seemed to calm Marsh down for a few minutes. But as Marsh sped through the countryside relying on his satnav to inform him of any speed cameras that may lurk around the next corner (mobile or fixed) he gleefully informed Rocksey he hadn’t been caught speeding in the last two weeks ! ! ! ! …. All was progressing well until Marsh had to slam on the brakes only just avoiding becoming part on one of the largest tractors Rocksey had seen. Now this tractor big as it was could only travel at about 10mph and the roads were now all blind bends and hills and hollows and even Marsh in all his fury wouldn’t attempt to pass, so Marsh spent the next 3 miles shouting abuse and throwing things out of the car window at the tractor all to no effect. Wearing ear protectors the driver of the tractor wouldnt have heard if marsh was shouting right next to him rather than 10mtrs behind him.
Rocksey at this point put his own earphones on and turned up the music loud knowing this was going to be one of the longest 3 hours of his life and he would ignor the Victor Meldrew that was driving. Three hours later they arrived at the run down home. Rocksey announced “I see your driving hasn’t improved or your road manners” Rocksey had always compared Marsh’s driving to that of Dick Dastardly in Wacky races always rushing and speeding but always taking longer to get anywhere that any normal driver.
Now this run down shack as Marsh had been describing the former family home was anything but
As you can see a most impressive house overlooking the Atlantic. Wow Rocksey said to Marsh any of the staff still here. Marsh mumbled that he didn’t know and carried on cursing every driver he had seen and even some he hadn’t seen but he knew they were on the road somewhere. Marsh threw the doors open and call out to see if anyone was there, Rocksey immediately spied a Steinberg grand piano place so the musician stared out towards the ocean and ignoring Marsh and his shouts made a ‘B’line for the instrument. lets come up with a new song he shouted to Marsh. Now Rocksey doesn’t know how to play the piano and the din that was created with Rockseys Singing !!! and playing soon had the house keeper in the room. Master Marsh she exclaimed its been a long time, this tickled Rocksey “Master Marsh” he replied more like “Master Ba***” but was cut short by Marsh.
Marsh and the house keeper left the room to sort out finances Rocksey carried on playing and singing, finally declaring that McCartney and Lennon couldn’t have come up with a better song. After a tour around the home Rocksey turned to Marsh and said “you said this was a rundown shack” it is was the response. With this Rocksey made a sharp left turn as the drinks cabinet had been located, throwing the doors wide open Rocksey declared “PARTY TIME” and fired off the cork from a bottle of Krug 1988 Champagne at Marshes head. We’ll get a driver to take us home Rocksey Shouted as he waltzed off towards what he now called the music room, “and that will be in a few days “I LOVE IT HERE” get the dinner Marsh I’m hungry”
Marsh got the housekeeper to get some food together as now Rocksey had ALCOHOL – FOOD – MUSIC he was set for a few days at least, this time it was Marsh with his head in his hands he knew it was a waste of time trying to change Rockseys mind and reluctantly got himself a glass knowing within the hour Marsh would be asleep on the floor somewhere.