Cold towels and Vegan Snacks


Rocksey has returned home from the UK leg of his current Festival tour under his latest pseudonym –  the very private, shy and retiring Chilean Artist Pablo Mercedes. This latest name change had come about after I had mistakenly thought a very very (and I definitely emphasis the double very here) heavy thrash metal band was actually a rather cool sounding reggae band (due to their Rootsy’ name) and booked them for a chilled out Birthday event for The Baron and Dreads who horrified at the screeching vocals from this Brazilian thrash metal singer got into the camper van and headed south as fast as they could. Rocksey and Max Millionaire had laughed so much at my gaff that they decided that Rocksey could get away with sounding himself like a chilled South American dude with a guitar when the reality is something completely different.

However, the gaff proved to be a resounding success, as Pablo Mercedes and his Spanish sounding sidekick SP (never one to change his name or appearance) hit the festival road touring alongside the likes of Rob Zombie and gained a few more thousand fans along the way.

When returning home from any kind of gig Rocksey is usually in need of complete peace and quiet. He would normally spend a few days lying down in a darkened room with a cold towel over his head, muttering about how much his legs and back ached and would only come out at the dead of night to rummage around in the fridge for vegan snacks. This time round though I opened the door to a completely different man. Kitten he yelled sweeping me off my feet and spinning me round before planting a soggy wet kiss on my lips, he bounded into the kitchen, throwing open the American fridge and cramming a handful of garden picked strawberries into his mouth . Before I could even ask ‘how did it go?’, his mobile phone rang and he strode off towards the studio shouting loudly into the phone  ‘you have to get round here Marsh, now! We need to sort this out!!’

Footsteps in the hallway alerted me to the fact that Rocksey had not come home alone. Behind him was a very bedraggled ToxicTrash Keg almost bowed double with the rucksack on her back and her arms filled with plastic carrier bags. He made me carry all the stuff she yelped and sat down on a heap in the hallway – I need a bath I’m so tired and dirty she started to cry.

A few hours later, TTK has recovered from being the Human Donkey and had gone out with her Rock DJ squeeze to bathe in the deflected light of the new Rock God phenomena Pablo Mercedes was actually HER DAD. Pablo/Rocksey had not emerged from the studio and I was now very tired of binge watching Ghost Asylum I decided that I could no longer wait to see what Rocksey needed Marsh NOW for and desperate to hear the latest gossip from the Festival scene  I walked down the hall to the studio with a bowl of vegan snacks and a cold towel.  Although the light was on, it was eerily quiet.

Peaking through the door expecting all sorts of Rock God shit going on, Rocksey was asleep in the chair, jeans rolled up, socks and boots neatly by the side of the chair his feet in a bucket of ( what would now be cold) water. Marsh was nowhere to be seen but it was apparent that he had been at the studio as there was a teeny tiny suitcase open on the floor with one trainer sitting on top what looked like a hell of a lot of neatly folded band T Shirts. What on earth is going on I muttered quietly to myself not wanting to wake Rocksey I tiptoed over to the mixing desk where Rockseys phone lay blinking a green message light –  nudging it back to life there was the message from Marsh which must have prompted Rockseys outburst earlier – can’t get my trainers in to my suitcase – it read – can’t go to the villa – nightmare.

I half turned to catch Rocksey looking quizzically at me – what’s going on?  I asked holding the phone towards him. Rocksey laughed loudly –  I told Marsh he could come to the villa with myself and SP next week to finish recording Pablos new album but he could only take hand luggage, you know what he’s like he can’t go anywhere without his full set of Louis Vuittons  –  anyway I’ve sorted it out for him – he nodded at the teeny tiny suitcase ( which I then recognised as one of ours) and everythings packed but he’s gone off in a strop now saying he’s going to have a heart attack.

I looked back down at the suitcase and then turned again to Rocksey to ask about the tour but Rocksey had the cold towel over his head and his hand in a bowl of Vegan snacks…… ( to be continued)


Like buses……

With the deperature of Senor Pinguino in November last year , the band have been getting to grips with their new bass player. Well I say ‘getting to grips’ ‘getting to know how to play with a new member of the band’ has been more like it. Not that he is an unknown quantity, Rocksey and I have known Robin Cyclist for many years, although Rocksey tends to lose touch with people and then they pop up again, Robin Cyclist found fame in the later 1980s with another famous Leicester band and then re-surfaced, two wives behind him, several kids and bass whoring ( Robin Cyclists own words) for another band when SP made his decision to quit.

Although not a great surprise, SP is sorely missed. Not only his stage presence but the fun and games we all used to have over the years, I lament to Suky that I don’t have nearly as much fun at gigs any more and more often than not chose to stay at home in stead of dancing around at back stage like a crazy woman with Suky wobbling around in those sky high heels she loved to wear!

Undeterred Suky and SP make it out to the first gig with Robin Cyclist on bass for moral support (and an element of curiosity I think). The gig, just before Christmas has been put on by a record company that have been ‘in talks’ with the band on-going now for a while – Super Pill – record company boss cannot seem to make up his mind what to do when it comes to offering a lucrative deal – or one which Rocksey thinks is lucrative enough. Suky and I decide to take matters into our own hands in order to ‘persuade’the man that he is about to make the right choice!!

Dressed to kill that evening, Super Pill is powerless to resist. It makes me laugh how so many powerful men in history can be seduced by just flirtation. I still don’t think the poor man knew what hit him that evening, between Suky and I and our carefully chosen outfits ( is he a boob man or a leg man? Who knows, we catered for both!!) we sandwiched him together, one on each side of him and plied him with JD and used our most powerful tools to persuade him he wanted to sign the band. Having talked the poor man into a corner I think he would have agreed to anything to stop us both talking at him! Within the week, Super Pill had been on the phone to Rocksey offering a two album deal, one of which could be recorded in his Caribbean studio because we were going to be there for his forthcoming nuptials with his long time partner, Sandy. 

‘We’re not a touring band anymore Pill’ Rocksey reminded him, ‘ we only want to do Fesivals so can you make sure we get South by Southwest and anywhere with Rob Zombie?’ Rocksey gives me the thumbs up -seems like Super Pill has agreed and there a wedding to look forward to as well !!!

So high on a new record contract Christmas and New Year passed by and with our holiday in Mexico behind us, the band have gone into the studio to start writing new material. The first album has been moreorless completed with stuff that had already been written and not recorded but the second album. – with  a wedding and promise of Carribbeen sunshine in October has got everyone excited – except Suky of course. SP is embracing his own musical future she tells me disconsolately over a glass of wine but I wish he’d stayed with you guys to do it. 

A week or so later, I get a text from Rocksey – news for you when you get back home – it says. 

Rocksey meets me at the door waving his phone at me. –  a big grin on his face, like buses he says like buses!!!I look at him perplexed, now the only time I have heard that phrase is when after lamenting of a lack of  a boyfriend my mother saying to me, ‘don’t worry love, men are like buses, you don’t see one for ages then two come along at once’.

Turns out, on hearing ( rather belatedly I must say)that the band were looking for a new contract, out of the blue another label had called to see if Rocksey wanted to enter into talks with them.Although this new contender would have been Rockseys label of choice he had very diplomatically turned them down whilst leaving the door open slightly ( we could look at signing to you after the next 2 albums if your still interested) .

Never mind babe I say to him at least we get a holiday in the Carribbean, I get to buy a new wedding outfit AND we get to play with Rob Zombie!!!

Later on, my mother phones me – I’ve missed the bus can you come and pick me up? She says. I stop myself from pointing out that 2 might come along later and leaving Rocksey gloating on Skype to Senor Pinguino over his 2 label deal, I go and fetch my mum from the bus stop.